All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
