my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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