I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Pooping to opera.
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