for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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