Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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