Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
