I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
