scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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