me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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