I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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