you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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