The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize