we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
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