Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
