Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
