It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
