the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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