so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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