and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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