kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize