thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
