In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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