Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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