I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
