Cold hands, warm shart.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
