Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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