her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
