we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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