By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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