I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
the day after is always just damage control
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
