no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
