just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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