You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
