I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize