it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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