you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize