my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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