would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
