I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
