Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
