And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
