Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
