Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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