if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
