whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
