I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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