It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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