I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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