i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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