Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You're like the curious george of whores
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Green mimosas i think yes
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
