Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i think i have herpe
just one?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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