my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize