This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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