So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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