I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
