You work out of a Hotel?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize