Your mouth is God's brothel.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize