Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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