You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize