dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
