I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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