i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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