thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
