So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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