there's paper in my vomit.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
