Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
no more duck duck goose at the bar
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
