During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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