just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
