i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
