one two three fourrrrnication!
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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